Featured | ArtHouse Editor's Choice "Sound"
I cannot speak more highly of the Filming Life Academy. If you have any interest in family videography, run, don’t walk, to sign up today! They have given me education, support, challenges, friendship and encouragement.
This personal share is extra exciting for two reasons. 1) It stretched me way out of my comfort zone. 2) Yay! I was featured!
Here’s a little background.
What drives you nuts now, but you know you’ll miss when your kids are older? I ask this in all my client questionnaires so I can get to know the family a bit better before taking their photos or shooting their family films. The answers to this question vary, but a few of them are repeated often.
“The monotony of being a parent. Another diaper change, another bottle, another chore.”
“The mess! Food crumbs everywhere. Our house is never clean, despite my constant cleaning."
“The loudness and craziness when they are yelling and running around. The messiness.”
Noise. That’s my answer.
When people ask me what it’s like to have 3 boys, my usual response is “Very loud and very stinky.”
Crinkling water bottles, balls constantly battering the ductwork in the basement during 1-on-1 games, fighting and whining, annoying firetrucks that my 2 year old absolutely loves, the sonic boom enthusiasm of my middle boy’s school day recap as soon as he walks in the door, TV, video games, my seemingly constant screaming/refereeing. I almost forgot to mention the two instruments my boys play: piano and the drums. A piano teacher once said to me, “I always told the parents, you have to be able to stand it.” Preach it, sister. Drums. Is elaboration necessary on this one?
Quiet is where I can accomplish things. It’s where I can think. I’m one of those weirdos that takes a walk but doesn’t bring my phone. I work in the yard and don’t wear headphones. I work at my computer, editing, emailing, and delivering galleries in a completely quiet house. No background TV, no music. I just need that quiet. I crave it. Don’t get me wrong, I love music and I love TV but the only things I can accomplish while listening are cooking dinner and cleaning the house. I can’t listen to someone talk and watch a basketball game at the same time. I can’t listen to my husband and respond to a text. One track mind over here.
You can’t always get what you want, though. Instead of quiet, I get loud. All the time, loud. Washing machine whooshing, dishwasher purring, kids fighting, doors banging. There’s good noises, too. Giggles, silly 2 year old sentences, beautiful piano playing, 8 year old jokes and all the made up songs that my husband (aka the best dad ever) sings for his boys all the time. It all creates a symphony that starts at about 6:30 am and doesn’t stop til 10:00 pm. There’s about 75 minutes in the middle during which it *should* be quiet while a certain toddler naps. I’m convinced he believes his crib is simply a new exciting location for more playtime, and he can’t resist adding a steady stream of narration.
Lately, I have struggled. With the exception of the newborn period of parenting, I have never felt more tired. With three boys in three completely different stages, I am pulled to what feels like my limit. They each need such different things from us. I find myself longing for them to all be in the same stage. Sure, tying 3 pairs of shoes sounds awful, but once that was over, I could just let it go forever, right? Move onto the next stage with all three? Instead, for example, it’s 17 years straight of elementary school for the DeCicco family! Emotionally warring with a middle schooler, feigning enthusiasm for second grader’s endless conversations and generally keeping a toddler alive all at the same time can really take it out of a person. Three different wake up times, three different bedtimes, taxis to all the different age appropriate activities.. it’s all wearing on me. I have even been wishing for them to grow up already so I can actually talk to my husband again. It feels like I can’t even do that lately. Wishing away your kids’ childhood is a cardinal sin, I know, I know. We all struggle with all of this. I am not unique. It’s not easy for any of us. You’re nodding along with me, right?
So what to do about it? I still try and wake up a smidge early to get a workout, walk or Bible study in while it’s quiet for 30 minutes. That helps. But lately, I have been jumping at an opportunity that gives me about 10 more minutes of what I so crave. Quiet. Picking up my son from basketball at 6 has been something my husband would have always happily done without complaining, and it would always be for my benefit, so I wouldn’t have to leave. (Such a great guy.) I wouldn’t have ever thought twice about his sacrifice to do that for me, happily sticking around the house while he did the annoying daily pick ups. When the time comes each day, though, I surprise myself by announcing that "I’ll be right back” with Ben. I see my husband’s eyebrow raise in question, but I just go. I get in the car, turn off the radio and drive the whole 3 minutes to the school in peace. It’s like I’m compelled to do it. I need it.
When we heard that our next ArtHouse Film assignment was going to be sound design, I first considered doing something “pretty” or “cute” like a narration of my son playing in the crunchy leaves, with the wind blowing through the trees. It sounded good and safe. I even shot a little footage for it.
However, that night, I started thinking about how I could create a Level 2 Film: no music. I knew my house was full of sounds, all day, all night. It all came together in my mind right away. The chaos, the anxiety. This would not be a dreamy film. If I did it right, it would make you feel tension and maybe a little bothered. Because that’s honestly how I am feeling right now in my daily life. It has it’s wonderful moments, I am extremely blessed and joyful, but it’s loud. And just like my clients, I know I’ll miss it when the crazy is all gone. I know that. But, just because that’s true, doesn’t make it a little bit hard to live through. Both can be true.
This is what my life feels like right now.
What Allison said about Lindsey’s film -
”This film is the epitome of a Level 2 film and it's a must watch. Lindsey brilliantly builds her soundscape without using any background music, instead starting with minimal layers of sound then beginning to build more and more layers of sound/noise/effects in, fleshing out the effects so that they become a character in this story of motherhood. Genius editing and storytelling Lindsey, we love this so much!”
It was very therapeutic for me to use photography and videography for an outlet to get this all out of my system. It’s probably like when a great writer keeps a journal and just empties themselves out on the page.
This sparked a lot of great conversation over on Instagram when I shared it, too.
“I promise you that the quiet you crave now will be the very thing you curse when these days are gone. ”
When I read that, I think all the air sucked straight out of my lungs. Whoa.
“Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.Well done, Linz! Love it! Isn’t life wildly chaotic?? Then, we can find such beauty in the moments of stillness. ♥️”
Yes! The day I posted this video to IG, I was kind of back to normal. I shared how even in the chaos, I was able to find good. Life can be good AND hard.
“Lindsey - this is so good and so beautiful. I mean, it’s painful, too. 😂 I struggle with the same feelings and the same longing for quiet. But you’re right - both can be true. This can be a season we will one day miss, but also a season that’s incredibly hard some days. ❤️ You captured it so well.”
“I still can’t get over how much I love the authenticity of this! And I can so relate!!”
“This is so relatable. Real life.”
I often find that a lot of my videography and photography clients have a very high value on sentimentality and realism, but don't know how to achieve both on their own. It’s one of the reasons I love documentary photography and family film sessions so much. I can 100% capture those sweet moments of connection that you want so bad, but there’s always a does of reality in each session. If the toddler is cranky, I’m probably going to document that just a little. It takes that fantasy of perfection away. YES, I know I am providing you with something you will cherish and love for years.. and it is going to look way more like the highlight reel than real life. But a little dose of real makes the reel relateable.